Jun. 28th, 2012

kinra: (Default)
Been on the road with [livejournal.com profile] alienne4, [livejournal.com profile] yuriko, [livejournal.com profile] chanteuse11 and the rest of Countermeasure for about three days now - hard to believe it's been such a short time - and I'm almost starting to get enough distance from the Toronto life to start thinking with a bit of perspective.

First thing is that I observed how much easier it was to create a moment of ego-building self-improvement with my music and my choice of repetitive activity (calisthenics) when I'm in a space without the usual trappings: not in a work cubicle, not in an apartment full of cats and ghosts, and not in my childhood home. So, that was something.

Second is I've watched this group slowly evolve into a performing machine. The road is taking an early toll - people coughing, stressing, schedule and sound shenanigans - but we're so shockingly locked that performance moments that sounded shaky to us on stage were crystalline to the audience.

Maybe I'm addled. Check it out, I've got time.

Millennium Stage concerts (we're on June 26th).

Beyond that, been trying out different sleeping arrangements. Nothing's ideal, but I'm trying to accommodate. I'm not getting happier yet, but it's been pointed out (and I realize independently) that a key for me is to really get it all out. Cry it all out, with a sad song or book or a season of Buffy or Veronica Mars. Scream and swear and despair. And then find an excuse to get physical activity happening, and use those endorphins like crazy. Then I'll be a little better suited for human interaction.

Still, Jess has been supportive, positing out that no matter what I'm going through, Countermeasure would rather have me here with them. We'd want Qwyn here no matter how she's feeling, if it weren't for the fact that she needs things that are where she is right now. And we want Voltz back, yesterday.

And I got a chance to see Washington DC for the first time in a long while. I guess I am still pretty American at heart. Really moving, but troubling stuff. I see it all with more cynical eyes. But also with so much more appreciation of the history and sacrifice it took to build this trophy hall of a city and the country that surrounds it. Having seen John Adams and read widely, plus being in m thirties and not 10, things look different.

Gonna sleep now, but glad to get the chance to stretch my legs. Big day tomorrow.

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